I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
