my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you had me at cake vodka
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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