Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
