We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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