Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
