I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My ass is underappreciated
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
