This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
