omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
