Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just gargled with NyQuil
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
