You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
