Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
