but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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