The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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