please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize