First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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