It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
