dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
be right there i have to get my cape
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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