wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
