ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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