Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
