At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
