oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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