If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
