i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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