You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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