This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
