You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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