the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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