I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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