I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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