we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
