I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
