Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
