We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
