We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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