I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
