yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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