well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize