he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
