Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
