super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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