You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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