Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
