'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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