how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize