I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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