I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I need moral support for this bender
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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