I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
