bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
