maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
