I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
