her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
