so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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