My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
