I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
