Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
