the new term for farting is butt boxing.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
