Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
