yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
