what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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