you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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