guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
