You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
