I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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