theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
