The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
