when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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