Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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