i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
