Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
