What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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