Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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