hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize