some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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