sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
