Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
