I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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