foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
